The best version of yourself……

If my life has taught me anything, it's that a New Year is always coming and always (socially) demands a resolution. If you're like me, my intentions are high, and execution is minimal, especially after the second month of the heavily celebrated and anticipated New year. Former years' habits and routines take back over. Old habits. Holiday habits. Practices that don't serve us. Crowds that don't please us + swimsuits that don't fit us. And what if we holster the understanding that having resolutions to be organized, eat healthier, or drink more water can start at any time of the year, not just January 1st? This year, instead of a resolution, I'm bringing resolve to this cultural trend and turning it into a deep-rooted, intentional word that I can consistently implement into every aspect of my life. And I can permit myself to "start again" if I have a bad day or week without thinking the entire year was a waste because life happens. I'm doing this instead of creating unnecessary pressure by demanding I be "three sizes down by summer." (We tried that two years ago, remember!) I'm choosing this because its' what feels right and necessary. I'm choosing this because I know myself and what I've lacked, and where I need to go to grow. If I can be led, at any time, by a word as a reminder and guide, I will be able to hone in on the excitement of things to come and change.

Small moments of intent grounded in and propelled by a single powerful word. A word that reigns command and control while being simplistic in form. The form of a collection of letters put together to make a sound that absorbs into my soul. This year, I've decided on a word that inspired me in a God moment. I was on Instagram, scrolling through one of my favorite Pastors' pages. There was a moment in the video when he spoke a word, and it made the most beautiful prominent sound deep down within. I connected to this word and all that it could mean. All that it could provide for me! It was then, in that very moment, I decided that DISCIPLINE would guide me in and through 2023.

After grasping the idea that this word would carry me through, I dove deep into where I will incorporate it into my life. How can I implement this word into daily practice in every aspect of my being? It starts with my priorities and how I dictate my days and make decisions. A significant area in my life that not only is a priority and that seems to accelerate rapidly and scream for altered discipline is with my children. As a mom, knowing I need to stay disciplined to say no to the "work" that "needs" to be done when my son asks me to play catch with his football or when the other asks to play a game of "horse." The pure intention of being disciplined in these moments is the understanding that those moments are memories in the making. As my grandma says, "beautiful memories." Those memories last us a lifetime, but most importantly, they are opportunities to connect a little deeper with my greatest gifts in life. It is a chance to interact and learn who they are currently and how they are ever-changing and growing. They are changing quickly, and adapting to each age and milestone requires changes in us as parents too. It's an opportunity of great measure to see how the discipline I've created and curated thus far for them growing up has transformed them into the sweetest, most enjoyable ages yet. In other moments as parents, we can sometimes forget that in all we do to teach our kids everything we know, we have never done this before!

Cue the grace! Here I am to convict myself to be disciplined in receiving that grace! Also, in the case of my boys, discipline for me means disciplining them (consistently) and, for example, not letting them talk to me in any kind of way, teaching them how to open the door for a lady, how to be a man of their word, and how to save a penny. Times are changing, but classic men with manners never go out of style. Raising a nine and 11-year-old set of brothers as an only parent while growing a business and trying to figure out how to finance a new roof while getting the laundry folded, there is room for a lot of grace. No one is in your exact situation to be able to tell you the most calculated solution to navigate your day, but discipline is knowing who and what to turn to when problems or issues arise. There is something, however, that we are always very disciplined at; eating dinner together as a family pretty consistently, even when football practice goes until eight and my stomach screams for food at 6. The coming together at the end of the day is refreshing. It's laughter, at times, uncomfortable conversation, and, once in a while, quiet. But we are together, grounded by a plate of nourishment fueling our bodies for tomorrow's discipline.

Here's a good one and an ode to my past years of resolutions, just from a different angle. Discipline to love my body. I literally and actually love my vessel at this point in my life. I love what it's created and what it's been through this far. I'm choosing to continue discipline in honoring the vessel I was given by making "healthy" choices—understanding that my almost 40-year-old skin is now showing signs of sun-worshiping and stressful life (learning) moments, and Cetaphil doesn't cut it anymore! Disciplined to listen to it when it needs to rest or a walk on the beach. (By the way, my spring break is already in the books, which is another area of discipline I'll come back to!) My mind is my body, and they work harmoniously. One can't be without the other. Protecting, nourishing, and exercising my mind is on repeat. Focused energy on making sure my emotions and thoughts remain pure and intentional. Yes, this takes discipline. I am human; spoiler, we were born sinners and designed with desires of the flesh and unnecessary thoughts. While reading, journaling, releasing or absorbing information, I am collecting all the topics of heightened interest to alter or incorporate new thought patterns. I am creating that healthy from the inside out. Discipled in ensuring I'm in tune with my soul (you catch that; mind, body, soul). What makes it all hum and feel effortless, perfect, or aligned? Feeding my soul has become addicting, especially as I navigate more trips around the earth. Re-discovering who you are, that you are not alone, that people matter and are placed near you and in your life for a reason, and that your thoughts are valid is so refreshing. That is being in alignment with who you are today, present moment. That is something to be disciplined in, evolution in your mind, body, and soul alignment.

Here is one that some of us avoid. Emotions! Mine sometimes need a little extra special discipline, especially when I'm out of alignment with my spiritual sense. Let's get clear that "emotional" doesn't just filter down to sadness or negative energy. Joy, too, is an emotion! Just feeling energy so strongly-some reference as being an empath- since I can remember, and I've never understood how to transfer it, express it, or control it. But as these beautiful years continue to add up, I have learned to manage better and acknowledge the energy and emotions. I've learned we all have feelings and deal with (or suppress) them differently. I've discovered that my emotions are necessary and may or may not need to be expressed immediately. They don't have to rule my world or my day. But they are undoubtedly admirable to acknowledge, if even for a moment. If you move through your day, never recognizing the sadness of recent news, the joy of a new adult purchase, or the shifting of seasons in your career, you will continue to take up space in your mind with thoughts that may circulate or steal energy right out from under you. This may leave you missing out yet again on beautiful moments that are present in shaping your future. I am choosing to discipline my train of thought to give thanks in all seasons of emotions.

Remember my mention of my already scheduled spring break plans? Discipline in boundaries in my schedule is a newfound love. Not overbooking myself or overcommitting is crucial to my mental health. I have grabbed tightly to the idea that I need to plan time off that is just necessary for my mental an entire year in advance. Planning this way is certainly not for everyone. It never was the case for me until recent years. I know myself enough to know I need that "whoosah" time at the end of a long day, week, or season. I can't always say yes to an extended phone call later or a night out. I can't commit to always packing my weekends with trips or events that don't involve my kids. What is so unique and amazing is that the people in my life know this and still love me. I have found the importance of surrounding yourself with people that love you for who you are is a life's blessing—cultivating new relationships that feed you while pruning past ones that drain you. This is me creating discipline in my time and calendar and, in turn, my overall growth. Relationships evolve as we do, so this a reminder to surround yourself with like-minded people who love, respect, and care about you!

So how exactly will I do this? How do I claim discipline as my word that will ground me and continue to mold me in the New Year? How do I become disciplined to be, well, disciplined? For me, the answer is easy, found in the one that gave me the word to begin with—God. The unarguably best moments of my days are when I actively spend time in the word, pray a little longer, read my devotional, or do a new Bible study. Or when I have that conversation with someone special or a great friend about a verse that just hit, and it never gets old attending a church service that ends up speaking directly to me! Stopping in the moments worthy of praise or a good ole "I see you, God"! But I'm not consistent. And it's again because I'm human. However, I'm excited to curate the disciplined life that lies ahead. It will be exciting, stimulating, challenging, but most of all, mine. It is my assigned word, and I will pray to be fully equipped with the necessary tools to achieve it.

As we enter into the new year, I will be encouraged. The most rigid discipline I may ever encounter lies ahead. Contributions to a legacy that I am continuously working on creating. Here's to growth, acceptance, opportunity, awareness, intent, success, gratitude, love, ALL THE THINGS! This year is a year like never before. One we have never seen. A year where I am being led with a convicted word coveted to the life I want to live. "No discipline is enjoyable while it's happening-it's painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way." (Hebrews 12:11). The best version of yourself is the disciplined version.

Cheers to a pursuit of conscious effort imparted one day at a time by and for a vessel perfectly unique and beloved.

Cheers to YOU!

-Ashley